Romance scam red flags to look out for

It seems that scams are everywhere these days — in our texts, emails, and phone calls to start. And con artists continue to become more sophisticated in the age of AI, so much so that a recent survey suggested that they’re increasingly imitating your loved ones.

Some also prey on people’s vulnerability and loneliness, pretending to be potential love interests: Romance scammers. New research from antivirus company McAfee found that two in five young adults (ages 18-24) encounter potential romance scams weekly, much more often than adults 65+ (one in 20).

Fifteen percent of Americans said they’ve lost money to an online dating or romance scam, McAfee reported. Men are more likely to report losses (21 percent) than women (10 percent). And while most losses are under $500 (especially among younger adults who are scammed), some can be in the thousands; only men have reported losses over $5,000.

And it’s not just scammers joining the most popular dating apps who are out to scam. Tinder recently required all new U.S. users to scan their faces when signing up, with one reason being to prevent scams. (Hinge will soon be testing this, too.) But bad actors are also creating fake clones of these dating apps.

A third of adults surveyed by McAfee received a fake “exclusive” or “invite-only” dating app invitation, and 14 percent signed up and shared personal or payment information. And Tinder clones accounted for around half of all malicious app activity, McAfee found.

Visa Scam Disruption found similar results, according to Visa’s chief risk and client services officer, Paul Fabara, in a blog post about romance scams leading up to Valentine’s Day. The team found a romance scheme that was “an entire network of dating sites engineered to mimic affection and funnel unsuspecting people into recurring billing traps.”

Romance scam red flags

Watch out for those “exclusive” dating app invitations. There are apps out there that let you apply for membership rather than just create a profile — like Raya — but those are few and far between. If you want to download a dating app, your best bet is going to your phone’s app store.

Here are some other red flags to pay attention to:

Lovebombing

If someone says they’re in love with you after a few messages, that’s a red flag — even if they’re not after your money. If a potential lover is rushing intimacy, it might be tempting to go along with it, especially if you’re lonely, but it’s not the norm. The old adage remains: If it seems “too good to be true,” it probably is. Same goes with glowing dating app profiles of perfect (filtered?) photos and cutesy bios.

“Romance scams don’t begin with money. They begin with trust,” said McAfee’s head of threat research, Abhishek Karnik. “Scammers blend into everyday dating and social platforms, take time to build emotional familiarity, and make the relationship feel real before the scam ever starts.”

Urgent requests for money

Is someone you matched with on a dating app — or someone appearing to be your long-lost friend — saying they need money this instant? It’s a sign they just want that from you: Money. And they might even threaten that the conversation will end, Fabara wrote, in an attempt to keep you hooked.

Asking for sensitive information

Are you asking to go out, and they’re asking for your bank details first? Be cautious. Just like asking for money, begging for this sensitive data isn’t what someone would want to do if they’re just trying to get to know you. These people might just want to get to know your bank accounts.

Trying to get you off the app — but not IRL

If a match is sending you weird QR codes, links, or asking for a verification code? That’s a bright, bursting red flag. Again, don’t send money, and it’s best practice not to click any strange links, either.

Especially worse is if someone you’re talking to refuses to video chat or meet in person. “Consistent excuses to dodge face‑to‑face interactions signal they may be hiding their real identity,” Fabara wrote.

As scams become trickier to navigate, we have to learn the clues. Stay safe this Valentine’s Day.