Lulu says it was “liberating” to tell world she was an alcoholic and “share difficulties”

Lulu has opened up about her sobriety, and said that it felt “liberating” to come clean about her struggle with alcoholism.

The 76-year-old singer opened up about her battle with alcohol in her new memoir, If You Only Knew. In the book, she shares insight into her childhood, career, and personal life, as well as her struggles.

An early preview arrived in The Times this month, and in a new interview with the BBC, Lulu revealed that the overwhelming positive reaction to her honesty has come as a welcome surprise.

“It’s liberating. It’s good to share the difficulties, because a lot of [alcoholics] don’t get here. I’m really lucky,” she said. She also revealed how she is now 12 years sober, and decided to seek help at her 65th birthday party in 2013.

She told the outlet that, at the party her her niece was talking about a friend who was struggling with alcohol and said “I think he’s just holding on by his fingernails”, to which Lulu responded “He’s not the only one.”

“It just came out of my mouth. I didn’t even think about it. But the table went silent,” she recalled. “Then my sister looked at me and said, ‘I know… I’ve known for some time now’.”

The ‘Shout’ singer added that she initially felt “shame, fear [and] anxiety” about coming clean about her struggle with alcohol, but it led to her checking into rehab for six weeks and going to Alcoholics Anonymous for “a meeting, two meetings every day for five years”.

“I’d kept it from a lot of people,” she added. “I could fall onto my bed asleep having been drunk – but then the alarm would go, I’d get up, pull myself together, and I would go to work… I was what you’d call a highly functioning alcoholic. Which is good in some ways, but really, ultimately, none of it is good.”

Also in the interview, Lulu (real name Marie McDonald McLaughlin Lawrie) explained how she grew up with her father being an alcoholic, and being regularly violent towards her mother. She shared that she was encouraged to keep the issues at home to herself, and used the moniker “Lulu” later in life to “to leave the pain and shame of my past behind [and step] into the character created for me”.

“I used to tell myself, silently, ‘I don’t want to be like my dad’,” she told BBC, adding that things with her drinking escalated in her 50s when she split from her husband, hair stylist John Freida, and also parted ways with her manager who she worked with since the ‘60s. On top of that, she also saw her teenage son move to New York for boarding school, and lost both of her parents, leading to loneliness.

“In the dark, everything ferments and becomes toxic. But with alcoholism, you can’t just control it. You have to stop. And if you don’t stop, there’s a chance you might die,” she shared.

“It’s a family disease, but they say that when you go into recovery you break the pattern, so there’s hope for my grandchildren. And I think I’m lucky to be here, talking about it,” Lulu concluded. “There’s a lot of people who don’t get here – but I have tenacity. I have resilience, which I’m very grateful for, because no matter how many times I’ve fallen down, I’ve bounced up again.”

Last year the singer announced her retirement from touring after 60 years in music, and her final tour culminated in a Glastonbury performance last summer.

She also launched Lulu’s Mental Health Trust in February, saying: “I probably have never been happier in my life, and at the same time, never been more in touch with my feelings.”

For help and advice on mental health:

• CALM – The Campaign Against Living Miserably
• Help Musicians UK – Around the clock mental health support and advice for musicians (CALL MUSIC MINDS MATTER ON: 0808 802 8008)
• Music Support Org – Help and support for musicians struggling with alcoholism, addiction, or mental health issues (CALL: 0800 030 6789)
• YOUNG MINDS – The voice for young people’s health and wellbeing
• Time To Change – Let’s end mental health discrimination
• The Samaritans – Confidential support 24 hours a day

The post Lulu says it was “liberating” to tell world she was an alcoholic and “share difficulties” appeared first on NME.